[He feels his stomach drop, anxiety gripping him like bony hands closing in around his neck, making it difficult to breathe.
Sakamoto has never in his life been any woman's first, been anyone's first, not yet anyway.
In a few months, he would be the first real friend Mutsu ever had, but that's a different story altogether.
He wants to say something, wants to scream, because in his mind this kind of thing should be special and savored, far from the unpleasant night he had experienced years back, but... She is different from him. Perhaps she just wanted to try something out, and like himself, wasn't interested in being with anyone at the time.
He hopes, desperately, that she isn't trying to make anyone jealous. That she did this for herself, first and foremost.]
[ Honestly, Touka wasn't the type to play jealousy games... But there was no way that Sakamoto could know that. She can practically see his anxiety on his face, and it sends something sharp and bitter into her chest. Should she have not said anything? She immediately feels something hollow out at the bottom of her gut when he tries to mask his obvious shock.
Even as his fingers tighten around hers, she instantly feels regret. It's in the way he's not looking at her that she feels it the most, and she's suddenly reminded of a time just outside of an Aogiri compound, where she was told that she was being left behind.
She feels cold all of a sudden, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she's naked. ]
You don't have to lie. [ She wants to pull her hand away, but instead it remains boneless in his grip. ]
[ A small echo of desire twitches between her thighs when his mouth finds her back, and Touka almost curses out loud when she feels her body respond to him almost immediately. She doesn't turn to face him, though she looks over her shoulder to send him a sidelong glance. ]
I sure as hell didn't do it for you, if that's what you're getting at.
[ A desperate grasp for levity, but a grasp nonetheless. ]
You worry way too much about this sort of shit.
[ Still, she's slumping against him, warmed a bit by both his body heat and his reassurance. ]
[Sakamoto knows better than to think anything like that. When they were together, she really did seem to enjoy it, even if the experience was strange for her. All first times are.
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3/3
[Oh no.]
What?
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[He does seem alarmed by this, stopping his movement altogether.]
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... Not anymore?
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Sakamoto has never in his life been any woman's first, been anyone's first, not yet anyway.
In a few months, he would be the first real friend Mutsu ever had, but that's a different story altogether.
He wants to say something, wants to scream, because in his mind this kind of thing should be special and savored, far from the unpleasant night he had experienced years back, but... She is different from him. Perhaps she just wanted to try something out, and like himself, wasn't interested in being with anyone at the time.
He hopes, desperately, that she isn't trying to make anyone jealous. That she did this for herself, first and foremost.]
Oh.
[His sticky fingers tighten around hers.]
Your hands felt...
[And her mouth, oh god her mouth-]
You could've fooled me! Hell, ya did fool me.
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Even as his fingers tighten around hers, she instantly feels regret. It's in the way he's not looking at her that she feels it the most, and she's suddenly reminded of a time just outside of an Aogiri compound, where she was told that she was being left behind.
She feels cold all of a sudden, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she's naked. ]
You don't have to lie. [ She wants to pull her hand away, but instead it remains boneless in his grip. ]
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I'm not lyin'.
Some girls just get nervous if they don't do this kind of thing very often. Mm, but I could tell by the way your tongue was tastin' me...
That it was somethin' ya wanted ta do.
[Maybe he's being too emotional, too soft.
But the thing is he doesn't get to do this with any of his usual partners. It's all business.]
I just hope you did it for yourself.
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I sure as hell didn't do it for you, if that's what you're getting at.
[ A desperate grasp for levity, but a grasp nonetheless. ]
You worry way too much about this sort of shit.
[ Still, she's slumping against him, warmed a bit by both his body heat and his reassurance. ]
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[Sakamoto knows better than to think anything like that. When they were together, she really did seem to enjoy it, even if the experience was strange for her. All first times are.
His was unbearably peculiar. Dark, cold.
The merchant's grip doesn't falter.]
So? Are you gonna let me wash your hair?